I tried to behave. I tried following our social norms. I tried playing creatures. I tried playing combo. I even built a non-blue deck.

But such a fantasy could not last for ever. The power of my first Old School love was calling. It was time to go back to her. None of the other decks could match her allure, her power, her greedy mana base, or the reactions or revulsions she gets from the Old School denizens far and wide. For too long - in the middle of the night - I would sneak away for a surreptitious encounter. Arrange a 75, shuffle it up, feel the power. It would then get broken apart, its cards back into its binders or into suboptimal builds to appease the "community."

I had quietly upgraded many cards in the forbidden list from the original revised, to FBB, to CE, to several betas; but they did not publicly come together as a 75. I spent the past year dabbling with a variety of decks that were fun to take out for a fling. At the 2017 Player’s Ball I played RUG Zoo in a room filled with other aggro and mid-range decks. The deck was fun and its tempo game was strong. It swept the swiss and brought me to the finals only to be crushed by the formidable Steve McGrew on Bant-geddon. The Top 8 was all midrange or aggro. Over excited players bloviated that control was not viable in EC. Endless squabbling over Strip Mine as an oppressor or liberator. Complaints about Kird Apes and Lions. Efreets and Bolts.

Lost in the noise I could no longer resist the call of my forbidden Old School love. It was time to free The Deck.

The community openly derides The Deck and those who shuffle it up. The community reviles its power, its complexity, and its beauty. They rail against the dark side, spew the interwebs about trying too hard or fairness. In response, I kept my running affair with The Deck underneath the surface as I played Zoo, Dreams, Monolith, Mono White, or Fatties. It is not that I do not enjoy playing those decks. Several have lots of interesting interactions, or beat down quickly to fit in more beer. But they could never match the thrill of that first love.

A recent Chicago event gave me a chance to skate around the taboo of running something too powerful. For the Lords of the Pit decided to run a small Swedish rules event, the Relic War II, to send off Danny Friedman as he left for drier, hotter pastures. I took the chance to take my girl out on the town – for The Deck is often associated with the Swedes and its presence would bring less of an outcry.

The Deck was insane. In the slower meta that arrived with only one Strip, she dominated the field. But she also had a good time and several close calls. As this is a story of romance, I will not bore the reader with a blow by blow of the 6-0 streak, but will instead recall several enjoyable memories The Deck and I had at the event.

In round 3 I am getting drunk on the power (and on the stream of DMen brews on tap) and I face Bob on Dreams Combo. I manage to take the match in 3, but only after losing game 2 with a COP Black in play and mana open. I was so excited to draw cards that when Bob cast Timetwister I forgot I had to pay mana for the COP and thanks to 3 dreams in play I took 21 to the dome. Whoops. Luckily, The Deck did not mind such rough handling and dispatched Bob quickly in G3.

Round 4 was an epic chess match against Chris on R/G Prison. The inclusion of basics paid off big time. I had brought 2 Blood Moons in the board for the mirror match, and as a side benefit I was better suited to face main deck Blood Moons. The Deck wiggled out of the impending lock.

Finally, round 6 was a shit show vs Charlie. We agreed to remove Library of Alexandria and Mind Twist to have a match more suited to the gentlemanly atmosphere and our level of inebriation. I don’t remember much, but I do remember Charlie killing off his own creatures for good measure. The Deck won the day to the boos of the crowd. Long Live The Deck.

I stumbled through the front door that evening and I could not yet bear breaking her up to be farmed out to inferior decks. We had finally been reunited. The Player’s Ball was around the corner and I did not have a list set aside. I whispered my tentative intentions to bring her back out to several confidants. I received near unanimous feedback: "Fucking do it." I discovered secret supporters of the dark power mingle among the masses. And so, empowered with their encouragement I took my Belle out to the Ball.

I fiddled around with a list sans Factories playing Moats, plenty of basics, and four Strip Mines. But I found the basics to be a liability in a 4 Strip World. Moat was powerful, but I really wanted to skew red with my Beta Bolts. So I settled on a list very close to the Relic War. Mirror Universe had been great, especially when paired with bolts in the main. I am grateful Danny convinced me the morning of to cut the Copy Artifact for a 3rd Bolt and Shane happened to have an extra Alpha Bolt while smashing down breakfast chimichangas. What a guy. I also kept the Strip count at one. I did not expect to see a lot of control given the social stigma to so much power, and against all the aggro beat down I really wanted consistent access to colored mana.

The Deck was again great and my play was again medium. Despite the punts, The Deck delivered a 6-2 finish in the eight round swiss +1 event. The day was long at eight rounds but it was a blast to see so many friends from across the country. Every table I sat down out there were friends old and new. The Deck was happy to be out in daylight and managed to overcome 4 turn 1 Libraries in the opening 6 games to start the day 3-0. Mind Twist is a hell of a card. I cannot recall what round I faced him, but shout out to Mark who, on a 'geddon list, brought prize cards for his opponents to randomly select. I scored a bad ass Beta Mons Goblins that he happily signed for my collection. I dropped the fourth and fifth rounds but rallied to sit down in the final round for a shot at Top 8 against non-other than Steve McGrew, the inaugural Player’s Ball champion who dispatched me a year earlier. It was a great way to end the day in such a serendipitous fashion. The Deck must have been excited too because it delivered a G1 turn 1 then a G2 turn 2 Mind Twist + fast mana against Steve’s Libraries making for a mostly uneventful but victorious final match. Let it be known Steve put up one hell of a fight and almost won G1 despite the huge initial set back. The victory put The Deck in the Top 8 where she belongs snagging some sweet swag and I am sure plenty of jeers.

The following morning over a dozen folks rolled out for more Old School and there I got to meet Jon, the only other Deck player from the Ball. We jammed a slew of matches and geeked over card slots and sideboard choices. My main man Aladdin finally put in some work out of the sideboard in our matches, which made my day. Meeting another player invested in the power and undeterred by the social pressures against it was a true highlight of the weekend. At the end of the day, Bryan, who I faced off at EW with RUG, asked me if Zoo or the Deck was my baby. I assuredly informed him of the answer.

To summarize a long winded tale of forbidden love: Find what you love. Play what you love. Try not to be an asshole about it. Thanks to everyone who is "in on the joke" that is Old School and to the entire Chicago scene for a SIYAQ 3 years of playing a children’s card game.

The Lords recount the debauchery of the Ball.

Pull up a chair and slam a drink with the Lords of the Pit. This is a podcast about Old School MtG.

Preamble: A Hot Day in the City

It’s Friday the 13th and hotter than hell. I’m trapped in my own personal hades of snarled Chicago highway traffic. Relic War 2 is tomorrow and, as I snake along 294 at five miles per hour, I let my mind wander to a possible new stew for this Gathering of the Lords of the Pit. It will be another stipulated battle. We did the Team Tactical (Old School, Vintage and Legacy) and the Split Format (93/94 + 95) events earlier this year. This time, for one afternoon only, we’ll cast aside our traditional Eternal Central codex and adopt Swedish rules* for Old School MTG. You know what that means, one Strip Mine, no mana burn, etc. It will be an interesting change of pace for the Chicago wizards. Relic War 2 is the brainchild of Lord Semmens who, together with Lord Friedman, has visited the Scandinavian hinterlands of Gothenburg and imported that brand of Old School back to the American heartland.

I’ve looked forward to this event with over a month’s worth of testing and a tuned-up deck list. Now, the day before the Gathering, perhaps it’s the heat or maybe even the hypnotizing effect of unending brake lights before me, but I’m about to throw out that list in favor of something unfamiliar and exotic. What could possibly go wrong?

Note: we did not adopt Swedish reprint rules and kept with the EC standard.

Farewell to an Original

As much as I’ve enjoyed testing and preparing for Relic War 2, the event will be somewhat bittersweet in that it marks our official farewell to Chicago’s own Danny Friedman, who is relocating to the Lone Star State to seek greater wealth and further infamy. Danny is an original Lord that brought me into the fold from the western reaches of Iowa, circa winter 2016. He is a neighbor, a true gentleman and I’ll miss his kvetching at our weekly Gatherings, though I won’t miss his miserable-ass control decks.

Testing Brew: Grixis Good Stuff

My first inclination was to build a Grixis good stuff deck, mostly to feature my recently-completed playset of Arabians Serendib Efreets. While I usually don’t fetishize over card editions or conditions, I make an exception for those Arabians Nights cards, which were near-mythical in my junior high days (1994-97). The plan here was that Dibs would be joined by the usual retinue of P9 cards and burn spells, plus a black splash for Sedge Trolls, Demonic Tutor and good ol’ Mind Twist. Sol Kanar The Swamp King appeared in a couple iterations, too. I settled on this 75:

After a month of testing, the list became as pedestrian as it was consistent. The night before Relic War 2, I decided to gamble on an untested pile.

Enter the Bouncing Naya Dudes

The optimized Grixis stew was disassembled and it was time to dig a bit deeper. I’d also recently acquired a playset of Hazezon Tamar from Legends, or in my case, Leggende. Hazezon is a legendary 4WRG boss that enters the battlefield with a delayed trigger summoning, on the next turn, X 1/1 Naya-colored Sand Warrior tokens equal to the number of caster’s lands. The catch is that if Hazezon leaves play, so to do all the Sand Warrior tokens. The mechanic pairs well with Karakas: if Hazezon is bounced at any point before the Sand Warriors arrive, the mass removal drawback still triggers but it doesn’t kill any of them (since they aren’t in play yet.) Hazezon basically drops down, calls in the reinforcements, then gets to da choppa. Hazezon’s partner in crime would be Stangg, at 4RG 3/4, who ETBs together with a 3/4 legendary Stangg Twin Token. Somewhat similar to Hazezon and his Sand Warriors, if either Stangg or the Stangg Twin are removed from the board, both are removed. Karakas again factors in here; I could bounce the prime Stangg with the ETB trigger on the stack, then get the 3/4 Stangg Twin - sans removal drawback.

For additional detail on the Hazezon/Stangg + Karakas combo, see Jaco’s writeup over at Eternal Central.

Playing these high cost red dudes meant I got to throw in one of my all-time faves, the mighty Gauntlet of Might, to help power power them out and power them up. Gauntlet would also buff the tokens and make for a nice Fireball backup plan. Lastly, this Legends-heavy deck meant I could safely include Old School hosers like City in a Bottle (Arabians) and Golgothian Cylex (Antiquities). This Naya pile was untested but I was optimistic about at least making some gnarly plays with it. I thought it may just have enough tricks in it to win some matches, too.

DMen Tap

DMen Tap is a rad bar located on Belmont, about a mile from mi casa and sequestered behind some bigass utility construction by Chicago’s illustrious Water Dept. On special is a can of Hamm’s plus a shot of Kabanes for $5. Pure value. In keeping with the name, there’s Dungeons & Dragons-themed art as well as sci-fi movies projecting on the brick wall and metal music in the air. Head down the back hallway and you’ll enter a private room that seats two dozen and features various vintage video game systems. I rolled into Relic War 2 and stopped by the front bar to nab a Hamms + Kabanes special and chat up some Lords before heading back to the hive. There, more Lords milled around, signing prize cards or finalizing trades.

Battle!

Round One vs. Cory Irvin 0-1

Cory’s been to some of our Logan Square area Old School meet-ups and he’s a super chill dude. He was on a black/white deck, I think borrowed from Lord Semmens, and opened our series with Swamp, Ritual, Hippie. Just peachy. I, however, unloaded on T1 with land, Mox, Lotus, Serra Angel. He didn’t get removal and, needless to say, I got there in G1. We shuffled up for G2 and I drew my seven. Two land, no ramp, no action, mulligan. I dew six. One land, no action, mulligan. I drew five. No land. I drew four. No land? I drew three. No land. What the fuck? I kept the three and scried (land on top). G2 ended quickly. We went to G3 which was going well until, sadly, I punted away because of an error on Stangg Twin. I forgot that the token is legendary! I summoned Stangg, bounced via Karakas with his ETB trigger on the stack, got my Stangg Twin… then did the whole dance again the next turn. Cory didn’t notice the misplay and who could blame him? This isn’t a particularly common sequence. I nearly got there with my pair of Stangg Twins. Cory, meanwhile, whittled me down via an Underworld Dreams. I top-decked Karma and was about to seal the illicit victory when suddenly Lord Mullen, half-engrossed in Super Smash Bros. and half-engrossed in giving me the business, noted my misplay. I apologized to Cory and conceded the round on the spot. It was a tough beat, but the onus was on me to properly know my combo and such was the danger of not testing prior. Cory informed me he’s moving to the Milwaukee area and I hope he keeps up with Old School there. Good luck, amigo!

Round Two vs. Jason Paul 0-2

Jason looked tanned and rested after some R&R in the South Pacific and we set down to rumble. He’s probably the only dude I know that’s more into cut CE cards than me and I bought a fourth copy of Swords to Plowshares off of him earlier that day. He was on a Bantgeddon deck, which felt a bad matchup for my slowass mana base. The problem with my deck was trying to build up enough resources to execute Hazezon and Stangg. G1 was quick as he blew me out with Armageddon and Ernie. Game 2 went my way when Stangg and Stangg Twin - just one this time - plus a pair of Gauntlet of Might did the heavy lifting. Thanks to Ernie, I bashed-in with a Forestwalking, 5/6 Stangg Twin in what would prove my juiciest win of the day. G3 was a repeat of G1 and I lost the round. Onward.

Round Three Bye Round feat. Tecmo Super Bowl

Another siq feature about DMen Tap is that they host a Tecmo Super Bowl league. It’s an NES classic that I played for hundreds of hours growing up. Following my uninspired 0-2 start, I was put on bye and ready for another Hamm’s + Kabanes special and some video gaming. I dialed up my childhood hero, Joe Montana, and thrashed Mr. CPU with the 49ers while waiting out the round.

Round Four vs. Katrina Zimmerman 1-2

I’d recently met Katrina at a Logan area Gathering and knew she was on lend of her husband’s (Lord Piquard’s) RG Beats deck. I also knew if I could get to my City in a Bottle (one main, one side), I could shut down her Ernies and Apes long enough to develop my combo. I got there with Bottle and a Serra Angel for one game win, then my second W came on the back of a T1 land, Mox, Mox, Sol Ring, Balance. Katrina was gracious about the busted opener and I hope she continues to class up our Lords meetups in the future. While it was nice to get my first match win with the deck, it wasn’t really combo-ing all that well.

At this point, I had a quick check-in. I wasn’t really feeling Hazezon as I hadn’t cast him once after three rounds and hasn’t even had an opportunity to do so. I was also overloaded on him with three in the main deck; I think one or two copies would have sufficed. Finally, and I didn’t appreciate this fact enough while building this deck, but Hazezon really needs a whopping eight sources to combo with - seven to cast him + a Karakas to bounce him. I was hopeful he would be doable in a one Strip environment, where I could develop more land drops, but it was just too slow to make work. I sided down to one Hazezon in all G2 and G3. Stangg was only moderately more useful than Hazezon as a six-drop, but at least he was only RG colors and not Naya.

Round Five vs. Tyler Etters 2-2

Lord Etters is my boy, but I had the drop on his Naya Tron brue. It was essentially robots + burn and white permission cards and very spicy. After another Hamms + Kabanes special (or two?), the fog of war really settled in here. My only memory from this round is that, in G2 or G3, I opened with a T1 City in a Bottle, clogging up Etters’ City of Brass, then later slammed a Golgothian Cylex to wipe out Tron Lands and a Trike. Gnarly. Beyond that hosery, I have no recollection of how I won the round, though I’m certain Hazezon didn’t have a part in it because I had yet to cast him all day.

Round Six vs. Jaco 2-3

Again I had to square off against the human enigma that is Jaco. His article over at Eternal Central was what originally got me interested in Hazezon & Stangg. Some recent history: ever since picking up the a W off him with my UW Robots vs. his Gauntlets of Nuggetry (way back at Kumite!), I’d suffered a series of defeats including Team Tactical, Novicecon 2 and the Bootlegger’s Ball. Here at Relic War 2, I’d have to square off against his Underworld Tricks. This Naya pile felt the equivalent of a knife at a gun fight but at least I had Disenchants. I basically ended up durdling about the entire round, trying to assemble a mana base and getting Draw 7’d into the motherfucking stone age. There was one interesting sequence where we had dueling Mirror Universes in-play; Jaco swapped our lives, forgetting about my Mirror, then I swapped them back and used the gain to draw extra off Sylvan Library netting Disenchant and Red Blast. I had a chance here and tried to blow up Underworld Dreams. Flash Counter. Red Blast. Blue Blast. Rekt.

For the record, I finally cast Hazezon for the first time during this round, but lost on the next turn. Nary a Sand Warrior ETB’d for me all day.

Wrap Up + Prizes

Lord Slack was our resident badguy and piloted The Deck to a 6-0 first place. Meanwhile, the outbound Lord Friedman, on Time Vault combo, took second place at 5-1. Lord Semmens had put together a treasure trove of prizes featuring notable artefacts such as a slabbed Relic Barrier for whomever played the most copies of it in their deck (enter Lord Bergeson), a copy of the original Magic: The Gathering Arena novel (went Lady Zimmerman), and some old Duelist magazines. In keeping with Lords’ tradition, we drafted prize cards in reverse standings order and at lucky 13th place I took home a war-torn Atog. Lord Semmens presented a going away prize, a Millstone altered with Chicago iconography by Ms. Slack, to Lord Friedman. The Lords spewed out of our den at DMen Tap and the send-off celebration continued deep into the night.

Postlude Musings

It was a pleasure to play with the Swedish B&R list for one day. Friedman made good use of the extra Recalls via his Time Vault combo. The extra Maze of Ith seemed irrelevant as far as I could tell. I had to remind a couple players about no Mana Burn, but habits are hard to break. Of course, the biggest change in gameplay was restricted Strip Mine. After battling so many players on Pink Weenie, Naya Zoo, White Weenie, etc. this year - all of those decks made potent by the tempo effect from 4x Strips - it was refreshing to see and play against some less common or novel midrange lists. They're more feasible by the additional mana development allowed in a one-Strip environment; the games just stretch out a little more - think business class versus coach. I was hopeful my slowass Stanggs and Hazezons could flourish here but, at least in this small sample size, I turned out to be wrong. Nevertheless, it was a an interesting experiment. I am confident that the Lords will try this stipulation again. We gather so often that the variety is what keeps the games interesting and the scene vibrant. I encourage all Old School MTG players out there to experiment with the rules as we all continually seek to pour new life and passion into these old slabs of cardboard.