Middle School Marauders: The Return


by Moss

Volrath's Shapeshifter

“Does anybody have an extra deck?”

So began Middle School Marauders: The Return. Lord Michael Walker showed up to have a couple beverages and innocently observe games having never played Middle School; but with the Lords of the Pit, if you show up, you pair up. Walker’s inclusion made an even 18 ballers, perfect for the tight confines of DMen Tap’s back room. Lord Tim Baran had a spare brew (Madness), and thusly we equipped Walker and fired Round 1.

Harsh winds and lake effect snow may have battered Chicago into submission, but on this fine, late-January afternoon the Lords & Co. gathered to reignite the flame of Middle School MTG, that distinctual, finely-aged format covering Fourth Edition through Scourge. In case you don’t remember (hey, it’s been a couple years!) you can read Lord Jaco’s format primer here.

At Marauders, the Lords supported My Block My Hood My City, an organization that coordinates volunteers across the City of Chicago, raising over $300 to benefit the cause.

Pregame

After five rounds of Swiss pairings, one mage stood apart from the rest as our own MTG Meatball, Lord Carter Petray, slew the competition with his English Breakfast feat. Stiflenought. After a morning spent hanging lighting fixtures at Lord Moss’ Logan Square fortress (big ups to Meatball Electric!) his 5-0 list dodged enough graveyard hate to grind Ws using the likes of Phage, Akroma and Noughts. The remaining 4-1 lists included Lord Nick Rohr’s Monowhite Shadowgeddon, Southsider Enrique Flores’ Monoblack Necro, and Lord Nathan Mullen’s BG Madness. (A scrivener’s error listed Mullen at 3-2 in the final standings, but as noted in his tasteful deck pic below, he was upon further review awarded an extra W ex post facto.)

Standings

The remaining field saw a plethora of MS technology as ill & spicy as DMen’s Mother Clucker chicken: newcomer Ben Jones wielded a sharp monoblack Rack deck, Lord Andy MacDougall herded squirrels via Enchantress, Lord Greg Kotscharjan ran with Esper Wizards (all Japanese for maximum angle-shooting) and Lord Baran unleashed a Draco/Erratic Explosion combo. While multiple iterations of Tax/Rack circulated the room, we kept the durdling to a minimum. Mauraders reaffirmed once again that Middle School remains the preeminent retro MTG format for brewers & stewers.

With Middle School Marauders now successfully relaunched, the Lords look to ride out the mid-winter doldrums toward further misadventure in 2022…

Loots

DECK GALLERY

Petray

Rohr

Flores

Kotscharjan

MacDougall

Gleicher

Braun

Elleman

Mullen

Jones

Casleton

Moss

McCarthy

Walker

Baran

CANDIDS

Dudesweats 1

Mullen v. Casleton

Dudesweats 2

Petray v. Jones

Dudesweats 3

Casleton v. Elleman

Dudesweats 4

Braun v. Jones

Dudesweats 5

Akroma

Hystrodon

Kotscharjan v. Coisson

Petray v. Gleicher

Moss v. Gleicher

Meatball Electric